The other thing I want to change is I want to write in a very "real" way. I love motherhood and love my kids to pieces, but I'll also admit that this whole motherhood thing is royally kicking my butt. I'm learning a lot about myself, and I find that I am desperately needing to find growth and stimulation in what I'm doing - I feel like I need to start writing about it more in order to understand it and foster some of that growth.
Sometimes I feel intimidated when reading other peoples' blogs and how perfect everyones' lives and children seem. I can't figure out how people do other things so much and complete so many projects, when my life feels so completely consumed with children. For some reason, I feel a real need right now to make sure I remember the good things as well as the crazy hard things. Maybe it's therapy for me, maybe it's for someone else down the road, who knows? But I'm doing it nonetheless.
Ok, so for my first post on my new blog, I want to post a "real-world" snapshot of my first child, Madeline - the good things and the hard things I want to remember. Later I will do a post about Jax.
Madeline:
- Madeline is now two years old, soon to be three on November 2nd.
- She is a beautiful, sharp, fun-loving, and very determined, head-strong little girl.
- She insists on doing EVERYTHING herself, but she demands that I be right there waiting endlessly with her while she's doing it.
- She cries a lot when she's with me - sometimes for the better part of the day. Sometimes she cries for no apparent reason, but usually it's because she wants me to play with her, carry her, hold her hand, take her somewhere, get her something, see something, do something, listen to something, or say something. You might assume from this list that I don't often do these things with her - HA!
- Some days she doesn't cry as much, and those are good days.
- She has the best laugh that makes my heart soar.
- She loves to get piggyback and horsey rides, do "steam rollers," and spin around till we both get dizzy.
- She loves to pretend she's a dog or a cat and insists that I feed her cheerios on a plate on the ground so she can eat it like an animal.
- She's big for her age - she's already wearing 4T clothes.
- She loves animals and is getting over her fear of touching them. She LOVES going to the zoo.
- She loves nursery and anywhere with little kids. She loves playing with all her little friends and always talks about them. She particularly likes to latch onto one kid at a time and imitate everything that kid does.
- She always talks about Grandmas and Grandpas and her cousins, especially in her prayers.
- She is our little "bull in a china shop." She's pretty physical in her playing and often doesn't know her own strength.
- She gets hurt a lot in her bullish clumsiness. And she tries to milk mom and dad for sympathy as much as she can get and cries for a very long time after each episode. On the occasion that she actually gets a visible wound, life as we know may as well be over because she will obsess over it every time she sees it for the next few days.
- She loves to go to the park and asks to go on a daily basis. She also loves going to Ruckus Room, or the "jumping place" as we call it, to the duck pond to feed the ducks, and to the restaurant playgrounds when mommy thinks it's too hot to go to other playgrounds. Anything "out" is generally better for her behavior than being at home, so mom is often desperate for "going out" ideas.
- Shopping with Madeline, grocery or otherwise, is an activity that should be avoided at all costs.
- To go to sleep at naptime or at night, all of the following must be done in order: lay in bed, sheet on, crochet blanket on, music on, fan on, find Soft Baby, covers go over her head, kiss, hugs, light off, say goodnight, and finally, say that the door is being closed three or four times. If any of these steps is missed, the hysterics begin.
- She wakes up crying 2-5 times per night pleading to be tucked in again.
- She loves to do all the signs that she has learned from Signing Time.
- Every time we drive anywhere right now, it is an endless string of objects that she is thrilled to shout out about: "Mom, look flags, birds, bus, motorcycle, balloon, M (McDonalds)," etc. If we don't acknowledge her findings right away, they get louder and louder and LOUDER.
- She adores her little brother and wants to play with his face all the time.
- She goes to time-out probably an average of 5-6 times per day, and is threatened with it countless more.
- She loves dolls and likes to put them to bed in little hiding spots all over the house using blankets, wash cloths, or anything else she can find.
- We are endlessly trying to potty train her - she'll do great for a day or two and then seemingly forget everything and pee all over herself for the next few days.
- A favorite thing to do right now is aimless running from point A to point B back and forth
- She is starting to love dress up and anything with a princess on it.
- She loves nursery rhymes and sings them all the time, unless you ask her to sing them.
- Meal time takes forever. She eats most foods and can use a fork very well, but conveniently forgets how to use a fork when she isn't excited about the meal (which is when anything is served besides pizza). She'll sit there not eating forever, only taking bites when we spoon-feed her, threaten her with time out, or get really fed up and try to take the food away. We know she's manipulating us for attention, and are increasingly just taking her food away permanently when she doesn't eat.
- She is FINALLY over her food throwing stage, which lasted about 18 months. Thank you, Madeline.
- She loves it when we read to her and she loves to read to us. Reading is one of my favorite thing we do with her because we don't fight about anything.
- She loves to be chased and tickled.
- When she is happy, she is radiant with joy and has an infectious excitement for life.
- More and more, she is starting to be able to share and leave places without throwing fits.
- More and more, she is starting to be able to play by herself.
- More and more, with each passing day, she is loved more desperately by her parents.
